Monday

Aug. 6, 2001

Limericks

by Various

MONDAY, 6 AUGUST 2001
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Poem: Limericks by various authors.

There was a young girl of Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
    Not round and pink,
    As you probably think—
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass
—Anonymous

There was a young lady … tut, tut!
So you think that you're in for some smut?
    Some five-line crescendo
    Of lewd innuendo?
Well, you're wrong. This is anything but.
—Stanley J. Sharpless

A wanton young lady of Wimley
Reproached for not acting primly,
    Answered: "Heavens above!
    I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an attractive facsimile."
—Anonymous

There was a young man from Darjeeling,
Who got on a bus bound for Ealing;
    It said at the door:
    "Don't spit on the floor,"
So he carefully spat on the ceiling.
—Anonymous

There was a brave girl of Connecticut,
Who signalled the train with her pecticut;
    Which the papers defined
    As presence of mind,
But deplorable absence of ecticut.
—Ogden Nash

There was a young fellow from Tyne
Put his head on the South-Eastern line;
    But he died of ennui,
    For the 5.53
Didn't come till a quarter past nine.
—Anonymous

There was a young girl of Penzance,
Who decided to take just one chance;
    She let herself go
    On the lap of her beau,
And now all her sisters are aunts.
—Anonymous

"If you're aristocratic," said Nietzsche,
"It's thumbs up, you're O.K. Pleased to meitzsche.
    If you're working-class bores,
    It's thumbs down and up yours!
If you don't know your place, then I'll tietzsche."
—William Wordsworth, Intimations of Immortality

In childhood it's easy to feel
The eternal suffusing the real,
    But as the beholder
    Gets steadily older,
It doesn't seem such a big deal.
—Nigel Andrew

At 8:15 a.m. on this day in 1945, an American B-29 dropped the first atomic bomb, nicknamed "Little Boy," on Hiroshima, Japan. It went off about 1,800 feet above ground and instantly killed around 105,000 people; another 100,000 died later from radiation burns and poisoning.

It's the birthday, in Oxford, England, 1934, of the American science fiction and fantasy writer Piers Anthony, best known for his humorous Xanth series of books: stories set in a magical kingdom where almost everyone, from dragons and nymphs to the unicorns and humans, has a magical ability.

It's the birthday, in 1926, Ashland, Pennsylvania, of Janet Asimov, author of the Norby Series of science fiction books for young readers. The series started in the early 1980s, and includes the story of Jeff Wells and his little robot friend Norby.

It's the birthday, in Boston, 1909, of children's author Norma Farber, who wrote all kinds of books including nonsense ballads, instructional alphabets, counting stories, all of which were written in rhyme and meant to be read aloud. She is best known for As I Was Crossing the Boston Common, which won the 1976 National Book Award; a turtle narrates the book, and tells about the animals he meets one day as he crosses the Boston Common, creatures that parade by him in alphabetical order.

It's the birthday, in Lincolnshire, England, 1809, of poet Alfred Lord Tennyson. He is best known for the long poem he dedicated to his best friend Arthur Henry Hallam, "In Memoriam A. H. H."

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.®

 

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